There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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