I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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