I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm sobbing to NWA
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
