i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize