butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
