I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
