And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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