I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
