i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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