He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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