Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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