I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
