I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
