Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
