What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I didn't notice because vodka
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
