When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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