my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
