Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
