just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
