I am puke
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She said her name was "party"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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