the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
