the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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