Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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