on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
