Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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