I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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