He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
