ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
im drinking this country out of the recession.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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