So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
