I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
