so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
