does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
