Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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