It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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