Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
should my penis look like a turkey
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
