I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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