So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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