Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
