I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
