I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
