final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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