And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
