My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
