The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
