I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
