I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize