So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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