shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize