Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i think i have two assholes
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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