butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
