If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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