Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
