What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
