I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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