Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
