I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
false alarm, still single
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
