You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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