Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just found a bag of teeth...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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