id be glad to
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
