I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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