Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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