Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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