lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
