Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
wanna go halves on a baby?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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