ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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