it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
