piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize