like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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