Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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