she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
