I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize