508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
