Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
