yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
