Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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