Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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